Introducing Halima

The other day I received a strange letter in the mail. World Vision notified me that Sabina, the Bangladeshi girl I sponsored for the past 5 years had gotten married (she’s only 13!) and would no longer require my help. So I started looking into other organizations that would take my money. I’ve done a lot with World Vision and, although they are quite reputable, I decided to give another charity a try.

I chose Compassion International because of their emphasis on teaching the Bible to children and doing their work in Jesus’ name. The thing that really got me was their website which displays the pictures of all the children. I could not resist their faces. I wanted to sponsor all of them. It took me a while to choose (I felt like I was shopping for a child), but I ended up going with the first little girl I viewed. Halima is 4 years old and lives in Tanzania. I worked with a lot of refugees from Tanzania at World Relief, so their culture is somewhat familiar to me. It is an extremely needy nation with poverty, AIDS, and an influx of refugees from neighboring countries.

Kids that grow up like Halima have always created a dilemma for me spiritually. It’s the age old problem of evil. As much truth as I know about God and the goodness of His plan, I still don’t understand it. In fact, I’ve been pretty unhappy with it lately. Why do some kids grow up hearing about God and His love, and others are sold into prostitution or child armies? Why have some of my friends been abused while others have been loved and sheltered from evil?

I was reading Romans 9:14-21 when I really started getting pissed:

14What shall we say then?^(A) Is there injustice on God’s part? By no means! 15For he says to Moses,^(B) “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16So then it depends not on human will or exertion,^[a] but on God, who has mercy. 17For the Scripture says to Pharaoh,^(C) “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” 18So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.

19You will say to me then, “Why does he still find fault? For^(D) who can resist his will?” 20But who are you, O man,^(E) to answer back to God?^(F) Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” 21^(G) Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump^(H) one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use?

Paul is explaining that it’s all about grace and nothing about what we do, and I get that, and that’s beautiful! But it doesn’t make me feel any better about all of the faces on the Compassion site – thousands of children that will never have the opportunities we have all had. It just makes me angry. Angry at God (And you know what? I think He can handle it) for not protecting or providing for all of His children 100 percent of the time. I’m far from selfless, but even I wanted to help every single one of those children on the website, so why doesn’t He?