I want to love you the most

There’s so much said these days on the topics of love, dating, and marriage. It dominates every song and infiltrates every film. There is a love story in every plot because that’s what people want to hear. I can’t even begin to tell you how sick I am of books “encouraging” single women as they “wait for their husband,” as if he’s just going to fall out of the sky and then life will begin. I hate that stuff because it isn’t what life is about. Life is about living each moment to the glory of God. If that’s as a wife, then I will be blessed to experience the incredible and beautiful analogy of Christ and the Church. But as me, just me, serving Him the best I know how, life doesn’t mean waiting on a husband or even a job. I am called only to wait on the Lord. There is no waiting for life to start. It started when He knew my name in my mother’s womb, and it ends when he says it does. Who am I to dictate things in my life such as love? Of course I want to fall in love, but my greatest fear is loving someone too much – more than I love my God. So I will keep growing in love with Him more until I can also love someone else. Jesus, I want to love you the most.

Oh God, I don’t love you, I don’t even want to love you, but I want to want to love you!
-Teresa of Avila